


Moments of Madness

by Impala_Cherry_Trickster



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Castiel Loves Sam Winchester, Enochian-Speaking Sam Winchester, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Nightmares, Protective Dean Winchester, Season/Series 10, Trauma From Lucifer's Cage (Supernatural), ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:00:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21899311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impala_Cherry_Trickster/pseuds/Impala_Cherry_Trickster
Summary: It just happens, the first time. Dean's a Demon, and Sam's so alone.The next times?
Relationships: Castiel/Sam Winchester
Comments: 16
Kudos: 235





	Moments of Madness

The first time it happened, Sam didn’t even realise who it was. He had fallen asleep to a Bunker without Dean, his brother now a Demon, and of course Sam should have predicted the nightmares. But he didn’t, and when they came, Sam was unprepared. Visions of Lucifer, of the darkest part of the Cage, where not even Michael dared go. He was screaming, clutching at what was left of his stomach, knees on cold floor. Waking up, shooting upright and attempting to fight the arms holding him, babbling desperately in Enochian for whoever it was to stop, that he couldn’t take anymore.

Eventually, Sam couldn’t keep fighting the strong hands, slumped into the body holding him, murmured apologies for not being strong enough. It wasn’t Dean, that was the first thing he recognised, and his body tensed up slightly realising that. The smell was of pine, of old books and of something he couldn’t quite place, and it took a moment for Sam to connect the dots. Castiel.

 ** _‘Shh, that’s it, you’re okay.’_** Castiel had been speaking in Enochian throughout the entire thing, Sam realised, and he slumped into the Angel’s hold and wrapped arms cautiously around him, taking the small amount of comfort. And then, with everything that had happened building, Sam sobbed. The Angel didn’t pull back, just held him tighter, the words being repeated.

 ** _‘I can’t do it anymore, Castiel. I can’t keep fighting. I can’t even find Dean.’_** It was easier to speak in Enochian. He had never told his brother, but after regaining his soul, it had always been easier. For close to two-hundred years, Sam had to speak it, otherwise the Angels would have gutted him. He learnt it, spoke it, for a longer period than he had ever spoken English. Castiel just sighed, pulled him even closer, and spoke the words that Sam stored in his mind, remembering them whenever things got rough.

**_‘You don’t have to fight alone, Sam, I’ve got you.’_ **

**

After that, it became a habit to speak to Castiel in Enochian. The Angel missed it, Sam found it easier, although he was always careful not to do it in front of Dean. The Hunter didn’t miss the disappointment when that happened, the way the Angel’s face would drop slightly, but Sam didn’t want to concern Dean.

Until the inevitable happened. They had been on a Hunt, a particularly rough one, where Sam held a dying girl as her entrails spilled out, just like he had seen so many times in the Cage. Dean killed the werewolf, Sam held the girl while the paramedics came, but he knew it wouldn’t help. She was already gone. Dean kept stealing glances at him the entire way back to the Bunker, trying to figure out what Sam was thinking, but he kept his face blank.

The night turned badly, Sam’s nightmares going back to the Cage, seeing Lucifer in all his former glory. Bright wings, dark eyes, knife in hand. The smell of blood, the dark Cage, the horror of being alone. Visions of Dean dying, of Cas dying, of Bobby. Everything hurt, and Sam couldn’t fight his screams, they spilled out without him asking them to. Waking up was unpleasant, like icy water being doused over him, and he scrambled away from the hands that were trying to wake him.

Green eyes, full of concern and worry, lips moving. Sam couldn’t place the words, just kept fighting his brother off, trying to tell him that Dean couldn’t get close, that Sam was a poison. But Dean just looked confused, and it wasn’t until Castiel appeared in the doorway that Sam realised he was speaking Enochian. The Angel didn’t hesitate, pushed past Dean and climbed up onto the bed like he had so many times, and Sam lunged for the trenchcoat.

Burying himself against Castiel, trying to forget the thoughts of Lucifer, he apologised over and over to the Angel. Castiel spoke back, the same soft tone, repeating the words that broke Sam from the trance. When his body was sure he wasn’t in the Cage, that he was wrapped up in his bed, sheets twisted so he could lie over the Angel, Sam let his body relax.

 ** _‘Sorry Castiel, it must have been the Hunt.’_** The Angel hummed in affirmative, stroking Sam’s hair from his face, a thing Cas was fascinated with. Truthfully, Sam enjoyed the touch, knew it was because the only touch he’d had for two-hundred years was that of Lucifer or Michael. This was different, affection that he needed.

‘Sammy?’ Dean. His head turned sharply, sitting up out of the lap of the Angel, to meet Dean’s confused face.

‘Not now Dean, Sam needs to sleep.’ Castiel stated, an almost-firm touch to his voice. Sam knew what was coming, snuggled back under the covers as Castiel reached for his forehead, chasing away any images of Lucifer. Just as he reached the border of sleep, the Angel spoke again.

**_‘Sleep well, Sam.’_ **

**

Sam knew that Castiel had spoken to Dean. Because Dean was looking at him like he was a different person, and as Sam settled for breakfast, the Angel walked in.

‘Good morning Dean, **_good morning Sam.’_** It was a trick that Sam fell into, replying in Enochian just because he could, because Castiel had. Dean looked between them, and just as Sam was beginning to worry, his brother gave him a brilliant smile.

**

It fell into a pattern. Sam would speak in Enochian to Castiel, and they stopped pretending Sam could sleep alone. The Angel stayed in his room, and they would stay up late discussing things just so Sam could start associating Enochian with something other than pain. Friendly touches happened more often, hugs, smiles, hands on shoulders. Even Dean made an effort, although he would still huff when Sam hugged him back, pouting slightly in a ridiculous way.

It shouldn’t have surprised him when the borders got slightly fuzzy, when Castiel’s lips hit his, when Sam found it wasn’t a shock at all. In fact, Sam kissed back with very little hesitation, and this was adopted into the relationship they had. Dean, ever observant, picked up on the change. But he said nothing, apart from a few flirtatious winks in Sam’s direction, the occasional joke about Sam being the girl in the relationship.

He thought about this, while sitting at the kitchen table, enjoying a hot mug of coffee. Castiel came walking in, spending a lot of time with them recently, always being around when Sam needed him. It was better this way, plus, Sam had someone to help him categorise the Men of Letters research.

 ** _‘Sam? Are you okay?’_** He’d been staring at the wall, Sam realised, blinking back his daydreaming state and smiling up at the Angel.

**_‘I’m good, Cas.’_ **

It was true.


End file.
